Twinning.

I suppose while I have some time I should blog a bit. I don't mean to neglect my blog, in fact there are plenty of times throughout my days where I think to myself "Oh, I need to write this down. I miss it." But things, as you can probably imagine, are busy and new and when I do have down time, it is so much more appealing to introduce my head to a pillow. Pillow, meet head. Head, pillow. This is going to be a very comfortable relationship, I can tell.
For now, though, I've got a very content baby in our Cradle n' Swing, that we bought second hand from a friend (Thank you again, Eva!!) and another baby right next to me telling me about his dreams. Or he could be telling me off for taking a second too long with his binky. I'm sorry, Christian. Your binky fell on the floor and Momma needed to wipe it off. I do this for you, dear son.
Anyway. Life has settled into a routine, for the most part. Aiden and Jaxon go to daycare during the day, and I'm home learning new things about the twins and trying to keep up. They really are doing so well, I'm so happy to see the progress that they've made. I can't wait to post the plethora of pictures I just sent from my phone. You all are in for some serious twin spamming.
I figured I'd describe the twins one by one, as I'm really getting to know their individual personalities.
Gavin, was born first at 4 pounds, 15 ounces-making him Twin A, or Pudge, as I call him. Well, we went in on Monday for our first well baby check and shots. Wanna know why I call this baby Pudge?? He weighed in at 9 pounds, 3 ounces and 21 inches long. Holy cow! This could have something to do with the fact that Mister Man wants 5 ounces at one time when he eats. Pudgy boy. I love it. Anyway, Gavin and I got a routine down while Christian was still in the NICU, but I think we were both so happy to be home from the hospital that a lot of our time was spent cuddling and napping. Recently, though he has started to show a little more personality. He is a very mellow baby! He LOVES our swing, and being rocked back and forth. He is so strong, he can already lift his head up and look around. Tummy time is not something he hardcore objects to, in fact on more than one occasion he has fallen asleep during it. I usually have to wake him up in the night to feed him, as I'm trying to keep the boys on the same schedule. His hair is a light brown and he has bright blue eyes, for now. I'm thinking they will stay blue, because they are much bluer than either Aiden or Jaxon's eyes were when they were born. Personally, I think that Gavin looks more like Phillip than any of our boys have. Although there are times when I look at him and he looks identical to Jaxon as a baby. He does not smile often, and never when he is awake. I'm sure than has to do with the prematurity, but I'm waiting on pins and needles to see this little guy look at me and smile. He loves to give kisses and will open his mouth for them. Daddy swears he loves techno music, but since Mommy HATES techno, I've not tried that out for myself. However, I do know that he enjoys mellow music when he's in my company- and has fallen asleep on me when I sing Jack Johnson to him. He likes to stretch wide out when he sleeps, with both hands up by his head. I also just discovered that he is ticklish on his sides- he doesn't laugh yet but he squirms and opens his mouth. It's adorable. When he's awake, he loves to lock eyes with me and follows me around wherever I go. He knows my voice and responds to it. When he lays with Christian, he has to be the one touching him, he reaches for his hands and likes to smoosh faces with him.
Christian, born second at 4 pounds, 9 ounces, is Twin B, and I call him Peanut. He is my little Peanut baby, mostly because he is lighter than his brother, but also because he has a big head and a littler body and just likes to be held snugly. On Monday he weighed 8 pounds, 6 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long. He eats anywhere between 3 and 4 ounces, and he is much more adamant about when he wants his bottle, which has remained consistent at about every 3 hours, around the clock. Christian is a snuggler and loves the vibrating bouncer seat. At first, he did not like the swing, but has grown to like it a little more now. I found that he enjoys subtle movements, as opposed to all out rocking like his brother. His neck muscles are not quite as strong, but his legs are stronger than Gavin's. He is definitely not a fan of tummy time. He also is more vocal than his brother, and is the one I can depend on waking me up like clockwork. Recently, around 10/11 pm, he has been in the habit of being wide awake and wanting to fuss, even after his bottle. However, what he usually wants is to be snuggled tight and a binky in his mouth. Speaking of, he is much more fond of his binky than his brother. Christian's hair is dark brow, almost black. And he has very dark eyes, turning more brown every day. I see my eyes when I look into his. In fact, I see a LOT of myself when I look at him. He favors Aiden, when was a baby. Even though Christian is a more serious (and a little cranky) baby, he also smiles much more in his sleep than Gavin. I was literally just talking to him while he was falling asleep and he treated me to a HUGE grin. It changes his whole face. It makes me cry. He prefers to bunch up his legs when he sleeps and also, like his brother, keeps his hands by his face. There's something about Christian, when he looks at you. It's like he's an old soul, much older in spirit than he should be. I feel like he is just on the verge of saying something when he stares into my eyes.
Whenever I go places with the two of them, I am stopped constantly. I admit I was not prepared for the reaction of people around twins. I've had people yell at me from across parking lots "ARE THOSE TWINS?!" People love to tell me stories about twins in their family, or about their kids that are also twins. It's like having twins automatically enters you in this elite club, and you feel connected to the people that have twins as well. People who DO have twins are drawn to you because they understand, people who don't have twins are drawn to you because it's something that is different and special. The attention kind of blindsided me. But, I don't mind it either. I love showing them to people, and talking about them. I like being stopped in the grocery store so an older lady can take a peak, and hearing a young girl say "Look, Mommy! There are two of them!"
Nothing could have prepared me for this life. It's harder than I ever could have imagined, being a 25 year old with 4 children. But, the addition of the twins has sharpened my mommy game, and put a new spark inside of me. Yes, I can do this. I may not be supermommy...but I love my children bigger than I can say. I feel more in control and more determined to be the best possible mother I can be. I want to give my children everything. Every opportunity, every kiss, every hug, every smile, every piggyback ride, every game of hide and seek...Yes. I can do this. Of course I can. This is what I was meant for. My feeling of emptiness and longing as a child and teenager were simply holes in my heart meant to be filled with this love. This incredible, all encompassing, deep love for my kids, that only grows and grows with them. When I look at my babies- Aiden, Jaxon, Gavin and Christian- I see parts of me, parts of my heart outside of my body, and it gives me hope. I am so lucky. I am so very blessed.

Gavin in the NICU.

Christian 4 hours old.

Christian & Gavin

 

All ready for their doctor appointment.

Mommy and Gavin

Snuggles.

Twinning.